Wednesday, April 9, 2014


Change is a good thing although we don’t always view it to be good when our circumstances start to change. Metamorphosis is, for me, a metaphor for change. I believe that in order to grow and develop as a human being we need to embrace change and this usually means letting go of something in order to take on something new.

Change can be scary. In South Africa, when Mandela came into power in 1994, many were afraid of letting their old white ways go; when he no longer was our president then many people were scared that they could not live with the next man in power because they were not sure of what changes would be made. Now that he has died we are all sad and inspired to live a life that honors what he stood for. With change comes challenges to learn from our past and to take into the future what we feel are successes.

Over time I plan to examine the different changes I have been faced with during my life. Each post will cover one of the topics that explore the many aspects of my life. The material will thus mainly be autobiographical but with the aim to reflecting on what I have gone through and learnt and to applying it to others. Maybe you are dealing with change in your life and struggling to adapt to, letting go and taking on new ways. It is my hope that what I share will inspire you to face your life with boldness and courage.

Some of the issues that I will post about will be:
·         Losing a father at six years old;
·         adapting to not having a father;
·         facing unwanted men;
·         working through androgyny to adolescence;
·         emerging from adolescence to adulthood;
·         adjusting to marriage;
·         pregnancy;
·         the first few months of motherhood;
·         meeting your baby’s personality;
·         self-esteem under fire;  
·         the challenge of raising teenagers;
·         challenging the boredom in marriage;
·         learning to live effectively with anxiety
·         coping with cancer;
·         finding my passion;
·         learning to love
·         …..

That’s all for now,
A warm smile,

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I am back

Yes I’m back…

After two years of juggling personal life issues and trying to retain my energy for getting well and finding new direction I finally feel ready to share with you and for you to read my writing again. I have found that to live my best life it must be filled with energy. In order to have this I have created, what I call: open spaces and quiet time. I will tell you about this another time.

For now I am sure you are wondering what has happened in the last two years… and yes, it could happen to you too.

Two years ago I discovered I had breast cancer. You know how you can feel completely prepared for the future, knowing that you have no history of cancer and everything pointing to heart disease is taken care of with medication. Well I was in for a rude shock. The doctor was not sure what she was looking at so after five biopsies and waiting the whole weekend for an answer, I finally heard the news.   

What can you think or do while you are waiting you might ask. My advice is, firstly, get insurance cover even if you have a medical aid or hospital plan as soon as you can, before it is too late, before you discover you are ill; secondly, don’t go scaring yourself by surfing the internet but do educate yourself about the terminology which is used, where you will get the best care, what the different options you might have for helping your recovery; thirdly, try to be as open as you can to communicating to your close family and friends; and fourthly, surround yourself with people (family, friends and medical practitioners) whom you can trust to support you when you need it most.

Don’t panic!! You will find that everybody has their personal story which takes them on a journey and so will you. You might feel bewildered by the news and all the jargon, you might feel a sense of shame or failure or regret. But what is important is to dig deep into your deepest recesses for courage, strength, faith and gratitude for what you still have. It is an opportunity to take stock of what you have, what you have done and what you can still give to others. To change, means one thing comes to an end while another thing begins.    

I was lucky. My tumor was caught early. And so now after regaining my strength I plan to begin a new ‘chapter’ in my life which includes this space.

Keep watching.
A warm smile,